tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.comments2012-05-23T23:05:09.112-04:00Dad Times ThreeScott Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16580458858822531749noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-46642836704369540502012-05-23T23:05:09.112-04:002012-05-23T23:05:09.112-04:00Tamara, thank you so much for the kind words, and ...Tamara, thank you so much for the kind words, and thank you for sharing part of your own story – and honesty.Scott Pickeringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16580458858822531749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-58572590667277260482012-05-21T21:26:29.662-04:002012-05-21T21:26:29.662-04:00As the mom of a 17 year old boy who survived one o...As the mom of a 17 year old boy who survived one of the most deadly syndromes (Pentalogy of Cantrell - roughly 15 children survived it), I read your story with tears in my eyes. We belong to a particularly horrible club - parents who have to watch our children be incredibly ill, cling to life, and suffer injustices to their little bodies that would make adults cringe. Their resilience is amazing but as I'm sure you know, they have times when they need a good, hard hug. And us parents often need a good, stiff drink!<br /><br />God bless your family and little Colin. Thank you for sharing his incredible story of strength.Tamara Kellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17171853584741121219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-65740971106648571542012-03-16T08:41:03.825-04:002012-03-16T08:41:03.825-04:00These are all fair points. Thank you for the reali...These are all fair points. Thank you for the reality check. I also got a phone call from a friend last night saying that she read the post and felt better because it expressed exactly how she was feeling after a long day and night with her two young boys.Scott Pickeringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16580458858822531749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-74466072110001631802012-03-15T21:43:14.690-04:002012-03-15T21:43:14.690-04:00Hi Scott, Lots of reading in the morning is a goo...Hi Scott, Lots of reading in the morning is a good thing! And kids love to dance naked around the house. If it's just at bedtime you are lucky. Suck it up!JMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05509731537968648722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-52787292655588941112012-02-08T08:52:33.206-05:002012-02-08T08:52:33.206-05:00So funny, as I was reading the part about you back...So funny, as I was reading the part about you backing into him I thought, "That sounds like dad!"Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14342559743608056791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-89107089209379748562012-01-20T07:59:23.686-05:002012-01-20T07:59:23.686-05:00That one's easy Scott. You just tell him that ...That one's easy Scott. You just tell him that all dogs came from Wolves...survival of fittest, people interfere and started breeding the goofy messed up animals to make other goofy animals...like a chiahaha. If he asks where the first wolf baby came from, well then you choose God or evolution...Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14342559743608056791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-89067015976232103572012-01-19T16:51:49.471-05:002012-01-19T16:51:49.471-05:00First- Do some Crockpot Cooking and make the perip...First- Do some Crockpot Cooking and make the peripherals in your life easier, since homework is a disastrous focal point of the evening. <br /><br />Incentive, incentive, incentive.<br /><br />Get a timer and tell Josh he gets to go out and play when the buzzer goes off if his homework is done.<br /><br />Do NOT say: You can't go out until the buzzer goes off/homework done.<br /><br />Other than the check marks, give Josh *social rewards for incremental success. Make a Homework Club, with a friend, with snacks. Make learning fun. <br /><br />Social reward works well because children like to be elevated in the eyes of their peers. Therefore, he can't act up if he is the Homework Club founder, because he's the leader.<br /><br />Worry not, young children are just now learning the work ethic that will carry them through their school years.<br /><br />Join Cub Scouts so Josh may have his own identity in the family, for now anyway. He will learn the ethics of a lifetime, but from my perspective, Josh needs to find his inner leader in the ideals of the BSA.<br /><br />401-351-8700Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-27082118793715760562012-01-13T16:39:45.148-05:002012-01-13T16:39:45.148-05:00Aaaah... only in a child's eyes and mind could...Aaaah... only in a child's eyes and mind could such a vision be conjured. (okay, and Peter Pan's, too) It wont work with the local police though, if you were speeding and used the Invisible Wing excuse. I am sure they'd insist on a breathalyzer...lolAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-69001260389908460192012-01-11T07:45:17.656-05:002012-01-11T07:45:17.656-05:00That is a wonderfully insightful question, and I w...That is a wonderfully insightful question, and I will follow up with the counselor today to ask if the use of auditory devices to amplify sound is also demeaning to a child and hurts their self-esteem. Thank you, Steve G, and don't be bashful. I welcome your comments and questions at all times :)Scott Pickeringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16580458858822531749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-51177584633503520532012-01-11T07:23:16.979-05:002012-01-11T07:23:16.979-05:00Would it technically be violating your resolution ...Would it technically be violating your resolution if you got a megaphone? Because you just have to use your normal speaking voice for those, as opposed to screaming into them.Steve G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12021363760202667755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-29725793613359236732012-01-06T13:19:44.569-05:002012-01-06T13:19:44.569-05:00Thank you, Sue and Michelle, for the kind words. T...Thank you, Sue and Michelle, for the kind words. Though it may seem that way, I really don't write these as a way to get compliments. We all know my ego doesn't need it :)<br /><br />Nevertheless, I appreciate the positive feedback. As for the blog, I'd love for people to sign up as a Follower, or to sign up for the e-mails. That way I can stop cluttering up people's Facebook pages with my musings on parenting.<br /><br />Thanks all!Scott Pickeringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16580458858822531749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-81758144247321338902012-01-06T13:03:31.933-05:002012-01-06T13:03:31.933-05:00I remember those early days. My heart broke for yo...I remember those early days. My heart broke for you and Jennifer. I am so happy to hear Colin is doing so well. He is truly a miracle boy and he has a truly amazing family supporting him.<br />Love reading your blog:)Sue Urbannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-12916630983783211312012-01-06T12:36:25.708-05:002012-01-06T12:36:25.708-05:00so happy for Colin, he is truly a miracle baby!
P...so happy for Colin, he is truly a miracle baby! <br />P.S. I am hooked on these articles, I cant believe I didnt know about them before!Michelle Onorionoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-7197974793014562892012-01-05T15:21:12.961-05:002012-01-05T15:21:12.961-05:00Do NOT let a well meant touchy feely speech parent...Do NOT let a well meant touchy feely speech parenting parents on how to parent compromise your intestinal fortitude!<br /><br />Think back. <br /><br />When we were kids it was, unequivocally: "IN our OUT!" There was no soft discussion and evaluation of how we might feel offended or demoralized for letting the heat out of the house.<br /><br />"Bad manners?" "You did what?" GET TO YOUR ROOM!" <br /><br />My heart and feelings miraculously stayed intact. I was wrong-period.<br /><br />Kids push out limits daily, so you should remember it is *what you say that is equally, if not more important, than the delivery.<br /><br />People never want to being the V word into this discussion (violence) but contemporary pychobabble tells us yelling is a precurser to the ride to hell in a handbasket. Not so..lol.<br /><br />Remember talks with folks from the Greatest Generation. When discipline was learned, it was learned once. They were not invited or empowered to be the creators of the punishments brought on by their own bad behavior. They weren't invited to wreak havoc on the family infrastructure based on their own preferences, <br /><br />And neither were we, for that matter.<br /><br />They *were invited to eat the next day after refusing their dinner and instead of being lawyered up at the local police department for wrongdoings, they were roughly scuffled out by *their parents.<br /><br />Our nation may view a a softer approach on discipline, but in other countries, heck other parts of our nation, you see a much more pragmatic approach to the age old issue of discipline.<br /><br />It is how you say what you mean:<br /><br />Graham, your not goint out until you clean your room!<br /><br />Graham, a soon as you get your room done, you can go out to play.<br /><br />Strategy prevails, and yelling isn't evil.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-31323699691253182832012-01-05T09:45:02.840-05:002012-01-05T09:45:02.840-05:00Scott, that is a very honest post. yelling and hit...Scott, that is a very honest post. yelling and hitting were a large part of the discipline we experienced as children, it is natural that we would repeat it.Ben & I have done a lot of parenting counseling through the years in order to try to break this cycle. The one thing that we have been working with lately is empathy with the boys...staying calm and thinking of their feelings. saying' "You seem very upset, I'm sorry you feel that way, how can I help?" We also just learned a fabulous technique with the 2 year old to avoid tantrums. we say first this then that...when he really wants something, "first you finish your dinner, then you can have some apple juice" "first we change your diaper, then you can drink from the water fountain" etc all he hears is that he"s going to get what he wants. It is so easy to get caught up in the anger and really we are taking the anger we hold from our parents parenting out on our kids. It is a vicious cycle and it will continue in our children unless we consciously stop the cycle ourselves. The change must come from within, ask yourself these questions..am I sleeping enough, do I get enough time to myself, do I feel fulfilled with my life? Our children are still such babies. We look at our oldest as being so grown up, but wait till the youngest is 7 and we will see he"s still just a baby. It is so easy to yell at boys because they are so intense, but I feel it is our job to bring men to this planet that are gentle and kind, thoughtful and loving. I know this is looking at the huge picture, but war can only continue if we perpetuate it with our young. We work hard everyday to take a deep breath, stay calm and see it from their perspective. We are their teachers and I constantly have to remind myself that they don't come into this world having the skills they need for proper human interaction. It's up to us to teach them not to hit, push, yell and scream. If we haven't learned it ourselves then we can't teach it. I support you completely and will take the pledge with you to teach our boys without yelling. I know sometimes it is SO hard.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14342559743608056791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-36834142746049458342012-01-05T08:03:00.756-05:002012-01-05T08:03:00.756-05:00Thanks, Michelle. You could try looking to Jen and...Thanks, Michelle. You could try looking to Jen and I for advice, but that might not get you very far. The real truth is that every kid is totally different, and what works with one might not work with another. For instance, we've known Matthew for 5 years, and we still haven't figured out anything we can hold against that kid. But the drinks and yelling sound great! I'll eventually get tired of kicking the dog so I'll need someplace else to channel my child frustration.Scott Pickeringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16580458858822531749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-83694748472141213042012-01-04T20:22:58.913-05:002012-01-04T20:22:58.913-05:00Guy and I really enjoyed this article. This is a v...Guy and I really enjoyed this article. This is a very open and honest perspective on the difficulties of raising a family and being a parent. We have seen you and Jen work very hard with your kids and we feel you are great parents :-) We will definatley take this advice and probably be leaning on you alot more in the next couple of years as we become parents as well. I think once our baby is born and things settle down we should all get together and have some drinks and maybe yell at each other instead :-) Good Luck with the resolution!Michelle Onorionoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-79676869951855384562012-01-02T10:24:59.343-05:002012-01-02T10:24:59.343-05:00My husband used to ask me what I wanted for birthd...My husband used to ask me what I wanted for birthdays, Christmas, etc. I always wanted something he struggled with to deliver, which made it even better to receive.<br /><br />A simple letter.<br /><br />It would have been easier for Jim to shop at the nearest jewelry store,but he did quickly realize those boxes would become dust collectors.<br /><br />Jim wrote beautiful reflective pieces on our relationship,our boys, and our lives in general. How he couldn't live without me despite my poor driving, you get the picture..<br /><br />He always signed it "Your My Special Girl". Jim always knew what I needed,sometimes before I did. <br /><br /> I have those priceless heirlooms of prose today, stolen from a moment in time,and whose currency far exceeds what any cold inanimate ounce of gold could bring.<br /><br />So yes, even the smallest of gifts are raised up in the eyes of their beholders based only on our love for them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-63903525635819111882012-01-01T15:54:33.906-05:002012-01-01T15:54:33.906-05:00That's a great plan, but to give him the crown...That's a great plan, but to give him the crown for Toilet King, I would have to actually abdicate it. There's no way I'm giving up the crown so easily :)Scott Pickeringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16580458858822531749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-24329098090779711262012-01-01T15:51:54.398-05:002012-01-01T15:51:54.398-05:00Witch, you make me laugh. That's one of your b...Witch, you make me laugh. That's one of your best posts ever. Never fear. You will survive the silence, and they will survive the decline in their social networking. Stay strong!Scott Pickeringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16580458858822531749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-69531747811263790352012-01-01T12:02:24.185-05:002012-01-01T12:02:24.185-05:00Yes, your good at jabs, and pointed ones. :)
But ...Yes, your good at jabs, and pointed ones. :)<br /><br />But remember, our average person who doesn't regularly deal in an arena of conflict and therefore be jab savvy, might be inclined to take offense if it were implied he was a secondary parent based solely on his gender. <br /><br />As a jab savvy woman (they roll off like a Brazilian sweat) I still hate those same age old remarks and I admit freely that it pains me that stereotype still *does hold a dogmatic unrelenting grip on our perception of our talents and skills, not as *parents, but as Moms and Dads, specifically. <br /><br />I hear mom specific jabs all the time...:)<br /><br />Example 1:..A female parent who may firmly voice a concern is labeled as a hyper vigilant whiner. <br /><br />A man who may whine while he expresses those same views and emotions, may be interpreted as a hero. He is the voice of reason. <br /><br />Example 2: Dad is at the bus stop 4 days in a row. Mom is there on Day 5 and hears a 4 day litany of Jr. being bullied on the bus.<br /><br />It works against us as parents both ways.<br /><br />Here is the hypocritical statement. <br /><br />"You need a man in the house."<br /><br />I agree, I am running out of Duct TapeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-75290905235484886472012-01-01T10:29:13.385-05:002012-01-01T10:29:13.385-05:00I see another "Since your the oldest.....&quo...I see another "Since your the oldest....." task coming on...<br /><br />Better yet, make him The Enforcer, and The Informant will soon be out of a job.<br /><br />Here ya go:<br /><br />Light On, Light On, <br />Close the Door<br />Door shut, door shut,<br />There's a little more<br />Flush it, flush it<br />Wash your hands<br />Turn out the light<br />and your the man!<br /><br />...Have Josh write and illustrate the above poem, as the oldest of the group, to set the example for his brothers, and everyone, how to promote good bathroom etiquette.<br /><br /> As the oldest, Josh must hang his well praised creation in the bathroom to remind his brothers and other young guests who may come in to use the bathroom.<br /><br />Making him the manager of toilet etiquette will make him the King, Enforcer of Rules. Give him a crown to wear for a day for this achievement. (Burger King)<br /><br />He will never forget again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-85636208039606106332011-12-31T00:00:12.107-05:002011-12-31T00:00:12.107-05:00Well, this week I am working on the advice I will ...Well, this week I am working on the advice I will be dispensing to you in the future, Scott.<br /><br />Aaah, the blessings of being on 'IGNORE" for "being the only parent on the planet" taking away texting... <br /><br />When on 'IGNORE', it means I wont be spoken to until I finally give in to the din of unresounding silence and unwelcome solitude and restore texting. Since one son said he felt 'declined' in his social networking, it renewed my constitution to stick to my guns, without review. Sometimes we have to manufacture hardships on our streamlined society. <br /><br />It's also a great teaching moment on 'Across The Board Policy' and 'Reciprocity' for my teen policymakers.<br /><br /> I may not hear you when you ask for my car. Coffee for one, not two. Snacktime for one, where's two? Oh, I can't hear you. I am left alone in the hot tub for torturous extended periods of time, and left to my own poor devices without conversation at the end of a long hard day. <br /><br />I have yet to see an incentive to restore.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-74890479890864416242011-12-27T15:46:36.589-05:002011-12-27T15:46:36.589-05:00Thank you for writing this. You have a beautiful f...Thank you for writing this. You have a beautiful family. ~Tricia from the Hampton InnTricia Michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13641516124700318423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1567396891390297082.post-17957010244300061162011-12-27T08:24:11.099-05:002011-12-27T08:24:11.099-05:00And he'll prrobably go through his entire life...And he'll prrobably go through his entire life craving that star attention...you did. It's the mark of a first born, always feeling like you have to be the star..the golden boy, and really it's all in your head. Now that you have children you know that they're all loved and all have special gifts. The key is helping them find their special gifts. Praise him for being a kind, honest and loving person...not just for their accomplishments.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14342559743608056791noreply@blogger.com